Gail really raised me.  When we moved to Jackson, I was 3. She was 11 years older than me.  And mother became pregnant with Rene and we had this big house with two bedrooms downstairs and an upstairs that was unfinished.  Our dad literally had me in her room.  So no question she helped raise me.  And when we moved to River Ridge and I was 5 - they put me right across from her.  She was like a mother figure.  Or maybe the better way to say it is that she was just like the best sister that I’ve ever seen.  

 

As a child, I just remember always being with Gail - being in Gail’s room, even if her friends were in there.  How many teenagers do you know that would let their baby brother come hang out?  But she was always looking after me.  Never once do I remember her saying “get out of my room” or being annoyed.  Even getting older when I WAS a jackass, I never remember Gail being annoyed.  She corrected me.  But I don’t ever remember her losing her temper with me, or her patience with me.  She said I was a sweet and gentle child.

 

Kids are a hell of a lot smarter than we give them credit for.  I think even then I understood that I was a mistake and that Gail was stepping up to help to take care of me.  

 

By the time I was a 5 or 6, my relationship with Gail was starting to fade because I was a boy.  I was paying more attention to Steve, Wayne, and my other brothers.  By the time I was 6 or 7, Rene was 1 and 2.  Charlie didn’t want to play with me because he was a teenager, so it shifted, but it didn’t deter me to her.  When she went away to Southwestern in Lafayette, she didn’t come in as much as Gary who was at LSU.  But when she came into town it was a BIG deal and she ALWAYS made sure to give me some attention.  

 

In my eyes, she modeled my mother to a tee – but in her own way and even better.  I’ve never met anyone, in my opinion, with the PERFECT combination of conservatism and liberalism that Gail had.  She was … how do I say it … the way you raise your kids, look at life, the way you judge or don’t judge others, the way she loved nature and wildlife, and she had her faith in a VERY strong way.  But she also grew up in the 60s and 70s with the hippie movement and the women’s rights movement and she was a stickler with that.  Telling me “don’t you ever think like that” with things that she had encountered.  She was a perfect combination.  

 

Gail just made everyone feel good about themselves.  If you did something wrong, she let you know, but not in a way that you felt stupid or bad about yourself.  Even me going into high school and having views that I probably shouldn’t have had, she would say, “Well, you don’t know how this person grew up or the kind of life they had, so be careful judging them.”  I remember at one point I was bitching about my dad because he had gotten worse as he got older with some of his outdated views or inappropriate shit he would say.  And I was bitching about it and Gail was like “You have to understand that he’s gotten older and feels like he can’t protect himself and yeah, he is kind of scared.”  So it was never “I’m going to scold you,” it was “let me help you understand why.”  

 

That relationship I always thought was extremely unique was between Gail and my mother.  My mother was smart enough to take advice from Gail.  I thought that was a very unique and good relationship.  Nana would confide in Gail more than anyone else - even more than her own parents and her friends.  

 

Gail and Jack got married when she was like 25.  I thought they had a phenomenal relationship. I love Jack and the whole family - it’s like when we’re around them, it’s like we’re still family.  I had no clue what was going on.  She never let on.  I never heard one bad word about Jack, EVER.  But I always find out EVERYTHING last.  Me and Steve find out last and even then I have no clue about stuff unless I overhear a conversation.  I didn’t know about her and Jack having problems until I overheard my mother making conversation about “Let’s put everything aside Gail for Christmas” and Gail was like, “yeah - 

of course.”  Even after the divorce, I never heard one bad thing.  I don’t know if she got it from my mother or from her own values.  

 

Jack’s a great guy, it just didn’t work.  But I think he is one of the best ex-husbands I’ve ever seen. Over all those years since, I never saw Gail complaining about Jack in any way.  I think that’s part of why Danielle and Lauren are the way they are.  They had two great parents who tried to make sure that everything was about them.    And it’s hard, because you have fear that your kids are going to like your ex better, but from what I remember, I never saw that jealousy or pettiness.  Obviously, there’s so much I don’t know and didn’t see.  But I feel like they were always making it about the kids and trying to do what’s best for the kids. Divorce is so hard on kids it’s unbelievable, but you never realize it until later on in life.  Even when I was an adult and my parents got divorced, it still affected me.  Because kids just try to adapt.  

 

Later, when I got divorced myself, Gail said, “Hey, let’s go have lunch.”  She told me that “You got do this, you have to get past any jealousy or bitterness.“ 

 

I think after the divorce with Jack she moved to Colorado and was working at the University of Colorado .  Then she started dating Chris and they went to Alaska and I actually went up one summer to pick up the girls and I think Jack paid for everything.  I went up there and stayed for 4 or 5 days and flew back with the girls.  And I didn’t like that dynamic at all.  Chris was a little too much testosterone for me.  I was in college.  I just saw a dynamic that I didn’t like. But the entire week I spent in Alaska, Gail would say, “let’s see this, let’s do this!” and I enjoyed the hell out of it.  But I brought the girls back because they would come back and spend two weeks with my mother and then go stay with Nizette, which was two blocks away.  

 

Much later when she was back in Colorado and met Mark – I was pretty busy by then and I was married and had Roy – but I remember that it was a breath of fresh air to Gail.  Like maybe, “hey - maybe life isn’t so bad.”  Mark truly was a great guy.  But dope got ‘em and took him over.  I always got along with him and had fun with him.  Never really disagreed with him.  And he kind of got Gail feeling better about life again.  Mark gave her an extra energy shot. 

 

I never went to Gail’s house or saw Gail’s house until we all took the trip down to the cabin one time.  It was always them coming down to Christmas or just coming down to say hello or whatever.  And Gail always made sure to see me. She even drove all the way to Aspen when Danielle was a teenager just to see me for two days when I was out there for a Rugby game.  

 

And then unfortunately the dementia started setting in.  I remember at one point Wayne called to say “Hey - we’re flying out Friday to get Gail and bring her back down.”  And it was a Wednesday.  But it was never a question of “if” when Gail needed help. There was no way we weren’t going to say no. But it didn’t happen.  Whatever problems there were subsided.  And then later on, we did help her pack up and get down here.  Gail getting the condition she had, I will probably never encounter something so unfair.  More than my divorce.  More than Wayne’s death.  I don’t know how to put it in words, but seeing someone like that who was so full of life and intelligence and compassion … that was the most unfair thing that I have ever encountered in my life.